Published in: on July 8, 2011 at 3:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Looking For

I’m searching –
Searching for the look in your eyes I once saw
That told me without speaking that I was all
All you needed in this life
All that completed you and happiness.

Im looking –
Intensely for the words you once used
To express such deep dovotion that refused
Refused to let my doubt linger
Refused to allow me to caution any of this.

Im waiting –
Waiting for a move that erases my worry
To confirm the small hope that I’m being silly
Silly to think your eyes have grown dim
Silly to believe you mean nothing in your kiss.

Im breaking –
Breaking for I do see it now
The look, the feel that confirms just how
How my presense is being taken for granted
and how my absence you would not miss.

Im lost –
Lost to where I go from here,
to see it now, it’s so clear!
Clear how I am no longer enough,
So Clear how I must go and confront what this is.


Published in: on September 26, 2009 at 2:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

I Miss You

Walking through life and all of it’s phases,
Never once thinking you would someday not be a part of it.
Taking for granted your companionship and love,
Then in desperation searching for you and missing it.

People do walk in and out of your life
Some though stay forever embedded in your soul.
They’ve left bruises, or warmth there
and you know their memories will never let you go.

If it’s better you forget, then you try hard to.
If it’s death that’s taken them, you try to wait then patiently.
But whatever the reason behind this separation,
There is always that something that is lacking painfully.

For some it is just distance, miles spread between.
Roads that fail to carry letters or calls back and forth.
For others though it is misunderstanding, hurt feelings, a grudge,
That refuses to just let go; Oh, but is this what pride is worth?

You who I miss, every hour of every day.
You, there, you know who you are…
I am sorry we must be parted at all in this life
And I wish you were here now and not so far…

away from my home, or my heart…
Published in: on August 24, 2009 at 2:24 pm  Leave a Comment  

Crazy Circumstance


How many times
Can I dream about you
To face the fact
That something dear is missing?

How many situations must arise
Where I feel I need your opinion
Before I admit I feel lost?

If I could just meet you somewhere
Someplace and sometime
To discuss what all went wrong
To bring out the truth

Because somewhere in your mind and heart
And somewhere in mine
There lies a misunderstanding so deep
That it’s built a wall between us

So many things I don’t quite see why
So many reasons left unexplained
Why you acted in such a way
Why you said nothing and turned away… from me.

My mind practically chides me for feeling so forlorn
It warns, “You’re better this way.”
My heart feels abandoned and fearful and longing
For the friendship it proudly held with you

Where are those days of completeness?
The days where happened what happened
I could turn and know how you felt.
It reassured me, completed me, and gave me reason.

Now it’s so different
Crazy circumstances brought us here,
To this point, this angering, senseless point!
Where I must believe I have never known you at all!

Oh, my heart how it aches to meet you all over again!
Oh, my eyes how they fill to change change change it now!

I am in a dark place searching for answers to
Why things must turn out this way,
But nothing is pulling me out to light
Nothing is presenting me the reasons why.

So I go on for I can’t just stop
My legs carry me to continue through life
My mind works, and thinks of it all, but the one thing
That my heart carries brokenly deep in the insides; it cradles it.

A time when our friendship blossomed and trusted and laughed and cried… together.


Published in: on August 10, 2009 at 2:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I am nothing and I do nothing…

Then what am I here for?

I am walking air, invisible to you

until what I do is too wrong to ignore.


I am non-existent, an irritant

until i stumble in your way.

Then i am mess and disappointment

and then i must know it’s not okay.


My efforts, oh, how I try

they go so unnoticed… why do i try?

My heart it beats silently

tho it’s body at times would rather die.


Then there would be an excuse for no praise,

an excuse for no love.

Then it would not care to be here nor there

nor have nothing to prove.


Glad you see all that you do.

You whistle as you pat your own back.

How much would it hurt you to turn around

and not notice so much all that i lack?


How much would it take out of you

to notice the good in me?

to let me know what exactly it is

that makes me at all worthy…


If I am at all worthy.

If my person is able and kind.

If I am important to you,

and why being worthless is not the way I am designed.


If in fact you do feel that way

why is it so easy to ignore?

I am nothing and I do nothing.

Oh, then tell me what am I here for?



Published in: on August 7, 2009 at 3:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Why did you glance at me at all
if it was only, and merely a glance?
If it meant not a thing
to see my heart start to sing,
Why did you look at me at all?

Why did you smile at me from anywhere
if it was only just a smile?
If what I assumed because
was something that never was,
Why did you smile at me from anywhere?

Why did you stand so beside me
if you were only just standing?
If you cared not how I did melt,
nor how much I had felt,
Why did you stand so, so close beside me?

How dare you breath softly down my neck
simply because you must breath!
And expect not a feeling,
not one that is so reeling,
that is overwhelming the insides of me.

Curse you for looking at me at all!
Curse you for smiling at me as I fall!
Curse you and the presence of your stand,
and your wicked breathing, and where it just had to land!

How careless you have been.
How so very foolish of me
to have made such a deal
of something so unreal.
To have believed more of your chivalry.

Step back, Sir, and leave me here.
Let me weep alone.
To have been so cavalier
So careless and insincere,
A greater man, better he would have known.


January 2000

Published in: on August 6, 2009 at 10:04 am  Leave a Comment  
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Dangerous Dare


You said “Leave”
And the word echoed in a million different ways
Hammering and piercing
And cutting through the quarrel and war

My mouth stopped short
My own words hanging dry
My arms still in the silence
I felt I had not heard you right

My mind went to a place
Far in the distance, a corner of my earth
And I curled up in tight fists
And refused to face any truth


Slowly I heard it again
Though you did not repeat yourself
This time it came slyly with meaning
Catching my heart by surprise

I blinked once
I blinked again
And you just simply stared
My eyes questioned you while they welled
In anger and frustration
You stood there as if I dared.

You said “Leave”
I finally just breathed “Ok…”
And your eyes opened wide watching those words
Follow me screaming as I turned away.

Copyright2009: @{LesNSpired—-

Published in: on August 6, 2009 at 4:55 am  Leave a Comment  
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